Lila's Lair

This was just... bothersome. Seriously, it didn't achieve much beyond annoying the shit out of me!

Now, don't get me wrong, I like snowmen. They're wonderful fun (or so I assume from all I’ve seen on TV – I’ve never been able to create one here in the land down under).

Plus, recent films have proven how brilliant (if not a bit goofy) they can be.

On a more adult note:
Snow, ice, I can see how they can be sexy – the temperature on lovely lady parts (and potentially man parts) is known to be pleasurable! So in a way, the idea of using a snowman wasn’t that bad.

But…

1. I can’t work out if this is a serious erotica or a parody
2. All the characters were absolutely and utterly unlikeable (yes, even our happy, happy snowman)
3. If we’re going to play with snowmen – can they at least not be creepy?
I’m not going to go into the having it off with a snowman in general beyond the fact that it probably taints the nostalgic memories of being a child (or older but young at heart) with their cool, inanimate winter friends. 

Okay, I'll admit, the writing wasn't too bad for a quick little erotic novel, I'll give it that. Even the concept wasn't terrible - I could have found it extremely amusing, whether it was meant to be or not. I wasn't, but I could have!

It’s just those characters. While not impossible, it's rather difficult to enjoy something when you are extremely apathetic towards, and a little irate with, the characters. So here are the three killers; the three things that made this short next to impossible for me to appreciate in any way, shape, or form.

The boyfriend

The female lead / MC
Is a sheer pain in my side for the simple fact that she stays with this boyfriend of hers in the first place. He is rude, obnoxious, and while she considers him her partner - the only thing he is capable of seems to be 'fuck buddy'. Apparently, he's also lacking in that department. This girl really needs to think out her relationships a bit better, dammit.

Mr. Snowman
Animated. Okay. That's a little disturbing… but it could work… except, it doesn't. He just stares and holds her head with his twiggy little arms, letting the girl do all the work. I'd much rather him have been inanimate. There was seriously no good reason beyond creepsville for this funky guy to have a glean in his eyes and a twitch in his phallus, when he wasn't even contributing to the ride. Shudder.


(TL;DR - disturbing, not particularly sexy, with characters that are simply obnoxious)

P.S. She should have just eaten those Oreos first.